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7th & 8th October 2000 Packed my van up on the Thursday
night (5th) with the help of Mik Stott, whose bike I was taking as
well, we, as a team, were taking six vans in total and one car, with mine being
one of the vans. Friday The boat journey went by quick
enough, then there was the trip from Heysham to Holyhead in Anglesey as we were
talking the Seacat from there to Dun Loaghaire, just outside Dublin. When we got to Ireland we had
to make our way to Slane, which is where we were staying, I was one of the first
off the boat, and if you’ve ever been to Southern Ireland you’ll know how
badly the roads are signposted. Anyway, ended up slap bang in Dublin City centre
on a Friday night……Bollocks! With the traffic and the single track roads it
took us over two hours to get there, to our surprise we were the first ones to
arrive at our B&B. The landlady informed us that we were to use another
B&B as there were 28 of us in total, she could only take 10 and her
only double room had already gone to Juan and Dawny Dawn. So off we
tootled and found it about two miles up the road….not a great start, as we
were all split up. Anyway was shown around by the landlord, Paul, and Ann
grabbed the only double room he had, all the others had three or more beds. The
rest of the Boys started to arrive and all got sorted eventually. Found out that the track is 60
miles away near a place called Naas…..Christ…..more driving…….so decided
on an early night as it was 10.30pm already…some of the boys went to the
pub……..just for a diet coke you understand. Saturday Arrived at the track late, and
it was raining, as soon as we parked it was time to practice…so out with the
bikes, on with the kit, and out on the wet track. The first corner is called
Toyota, which is actually a tight right hand hairpin, around that then onto a
straight bit that has a left, right, left kink, then onto a right hander which
has a big bump on the exit which unsettles the front and rear ends, power down
the straight which bends to the
right near the end of it into Parabolica, which is a right hand corner taken in
2nd or 3rd gear depending on how good you are, the corner
sweeps round and there is another right apex to it called Trapese, from there
its hard on the throttle up to 4th, maybe into 5th down
the back straight which bends left at the end, then its hard on the brakes into
Tarzan 1 which is a right hander and straight away still really cranked over
through Tarzan 2 which is another tight, right hander, if you get these right
you take them in one, then there's a small straight bit that has a slight rise
which lifts the front wheel, then its back a gear or two for Septica, this is a
90 degree right hander which immediately flicks left the other way which is
called Druids, then on to Karussel, which is a long sweeping 2nd gear
left hander, which seems to go on for ages……..you
really get the feeling of being cranked over here, down another short
straight, through another left hand 90 degree corner where the kerbs are really
big, down another short straight which has a rise leading up to a blind hairpin
which is called Lola, around this then back on to the start/finish straight,
which has a dip at the start of it. We had five practice sessions
today with only three races, of which I was in the third one – Stocksport.
Both Celtic Match Races would be on the Sunday along with 14 support races
along with one extra practice. (in my class anyway). First practice session flew by,
so just used it to try and learn the track and wasn’t trying hard and still
the bike was sliding all over the place, apparently a lot of car racing goes on
at Mondello and they leave a lot of rubber on the track and when it rains its as
slippy as hell. As I was exiting the corner before Lola, I saw Juan have a huge
slide and disappear over the brow of the hill, as I approached the corner, Juan
was in the gravel trap, thankfully still upright, but his back wheel was stuck
really deep and he had a huge rooster tail of gravel behind him trying to get
back on the track. Got back to the
pits to be told that one of our lads (Phil Bell-Scott) had come off exiting Lola
on the first lap. He had a huge slide coming out of the corner, it flicked left
then right then left and he yee-ha’d on the start/finish
straight………great start. Second practise session was
still wet, Juan was out first on his wet tyres, I started
not far behind him and was maintaining the gap until Milky passed me and
I managed to tag along behind him and we were both reeling Juan in. I didn’t
get passed by anybody else so I thought that I must have been doing alright,
although the bike was still sliding a little, not much I can do about that
though, cos I ain’t got not wets baby. Went out for the third session,
feeling a little more confident, despite the conditions, but really hoping that
it would start to dry up, as if it stayed wet, I’d have no chance. Did a few
laps then on the approach to Lola, I stayed left to take a wide line into the
hairpin so I could be tight coming out and on the brow of the hill, the front
end just went………… I slid down the track on my
right shoulder, amazingly, not marking my helmet again, felt like I was sliding
for ages and my shoulder started to get hot so I turned over onto my back just
in time to see my bike whizz past on its side, it looked to me like it was going
to slide till it stopped until it hit the kerb and took off…….. it did a somersault, with a little twist, and bounced a
couple of times……..all I could think of was ……..chi – ching………………ouch
…..how much was that! I hadn’t hurt myself at all, but at the time that is
scant consolation until you think about it afterwards. Got to the bike and picked it
up, mad as hell…….stupid, slippy f#cking track….. first inspection was not
good. It had smashed the fairings, screen, front brake master cylinder, lever
and reservoir (again!), footrest hanger, the seat unit, twisted the subframe,
huge dent in the tank and damaged the throttle grip etc, and there was stones
jamming the brakes and carb linkages……………….bollocks again. Pushed the bike back to the
pits……every one agreed it didn’t look good for me making the race
tomorrow….then it thundered down with rain….just great….. The Beattie’s
made a space in their big frame tent and we all set out to work on it, stripped
it down washed all the shite off it, straightened the subframe as best as we
could, Big H and Kev Cringle lent me their spare front brake master cylinder, so
the boys started to put that on , I managed to buy a spare screen and resevoir
off Ernie Coates Motorcycles, who was at the track and got my rather large fibre
glass kit out and with the help off Mik Stott started to repair my seat unit and
fairings. As I was doing this the 4th practice session had been red
flagged (stopped), due to Gary Carswell getting flicked off his bike exiting
Lola ( this seemed to be a nasty place for the Manx boys) He was taken by
ambulance to hospital for a check up…..didn’t really know how bad he was,
till later on when it was confirmed he was ok, badly bruised, but wouldn’t be
riding again this weekend, shite a man down …..and Peter ‘Hound Dog’
Houndsell had also come off at Karussel………….bloody hell. He was OK as
well, apart from a sore shoulder. My bike started to take shape,
mainly thanks to Juan, Mik, Marv, Dasher, Big H and Kev…….without their help
I’d still be there fixing it, and by the end of the day about eight hours
later, all I had left to do was put the seat unit on….but it had that much
fibre glass on it, it hadn’t dried, so first job tomorrow was that. I even
bought white duct tape to cover all the other holes and scratches……..well, I
am a tart. I should be sponsored by cable ties and duct tape! Was last to leave the track to
head for the B&B……sixty bloody miles and an hour and a half later, we
arrived totally knackered. Some of the boys were ready to go out for the night
on the lash and had their shiny shirts on and everything! (you know who you
are… Ha Ha). They must have enjoyed themselves because one of them tried to
break down my bedroom door at half four telling me to let him in because he
loved me….. Ann told him to politely to go away……….if you know what I
mean. Sunday The only practice session for
me was wet and I couldn’t get me head round it at all, I was still depressed
at binning it and little did I know that this was the session they used for
qualifying…….and cos I didn’t try hard, I qualified 8th out of
nine of us…….so that meant I was on the 8th row of the grid for
the match race…….Christ, could it get any worse………yep it did, Hound
Dog came off again at……..yeah you guessed it …..Lola…….He didn’t
have the right spares to fix it, with a broken rearset, handlebar and exhaust
being the main worries…… Only consolation for everyone else was that it had
started to dry, although it was bloody freezing. Drafted Phil ‘Gillie’
Gilmore into the squad to replace Peter. My first race was the Celtic
Match Race A, and from rows 1 to 9 we had Nige (Beattie) on the front row, then
Juan (Kinnish), Paul ‘Big H’ Hunt, Milky (Quayle), Mik (Stott), Rob (Alton),
me, and Stevie Dey who was drafted in to replace Gary. So there I was on the 8th
row, patched up bike, half shot tyres, and not really looking forward to
it……..anyway the lights turned green and got a good enough start and by the
first corner I had already passed Rob and Mik….got caught up in the pack and
started to ride like an old woman, it felt like the bike wasn’t handling
properly, but I have to put that down to me not being able to get my head round
it. Rob repassed me and started to bugger off into the distance and I couldn’t
hold on to him cos I was holding on too tight (again), and suffered from arm
pump, On about the third lap going through Tarzan 2 the yellow flags were being
waved and I noticed that it was Big H who had hit the deck and was on the grass
in the hedge, had to wait another lap and saw him on his feet, so I worried a
little less after that………felt a little anxious every time I banked it over
so had to settle for the position I was in, which was 27th by the
flag…… well unhappy with that. The race was won by Rodney McUrdy with Swann,
then Archibald, all top Irish riders, our best placings were Nige ( 9th)
and Juan (11th), which were pretty good results considering the
opposition. Got back to the paddock saw H,
he had twisted his knee and hurt his damaged hand, didn’t know if he would
make it for the last match race… Christ, us Manx Boys were jumping off all
over the place! Remarkably his bike had no damage apart from a small break in
the fairing, which I bolted back on, toute suite.……..turning out well this
meeting, I don’t think. My next race was The Grand
Final…….one of the support races, was thinking about just doing the last
match race, but decided to do it just for more track time, on the 7th
row for this one, got another good start , same happened again, passed Mik and
Rob, then a lap later Rob passed me and started to open a gap, took me a couple
of laps to settle down and reeled him in repassed him and a couple of others,
had my knee down a couple of times, but I’m still lifting it back up again,
can’t get used to it scraping the ground, best places to get your knee down
was Tarzan 1 & 2 and Karussel….. by the flag I was 14th……..felt
I was going a lot quicker, confirmed by Ann, who said I had managed consistent
1’32’s with a fastest 1’31.3 which was about 4 seconds a lap faster than I
had done, so getting faster, and a signature….which the way I was going I
didn’t think that I would get. So at least I had something to show for it all.
When I got back in the paddock, found that Nige had pulled in because he had a
huge slide at the corner before Lola and ended up in the gravel trap, thankfully
he remained the right way up as well, but pulled in to be safe……….I
wondered who would be next, only Milky and Mik hadn’t gone off the track. Last race for me was the next
match race, this time everyone moved up a row on the grid as Big H wanted to
start at the back, cruise round for a couple of laps, then pull in at the pit
wall, wait for the race to finish, then tootle over the line in last place and
get a point, as he was too sore to race. So 7th row for me this
time……lights went green, and did the same again, although there are only so
many places you can make up until you get blocked by the sheer volume of bikes
all trying to get round the hairpin at the same time.Got blocked a lot as the
field started to spread out, found that I could take Toyota hairpin faster than
those in front (fast going in, shite coming out) but decided on blocking whoever
might get better drive than me, so approaching the corner was ready to do it,
when some arse overcooked the corner, dived up my inside, just missing me, and t-boned
the lad in front, and he was down, the other bloke amazingly didn’t come off,
I had to take avoiding action and in doing so got passed by about three bikes,
one of them being Rob, so I tucked in behind and outbraked him into Tarzan
1….then I set about the next two and passed one of them at Toyota, I was all
over the other one until he came off in front of me at Karussel, that put the
wind up me for a moment and I overshot the next corner and lost a couple of
places, but managed to pass them back. Got my head down and started to
catch a group of riders in front….. as I caught them up, the rider at the back
of the group was Milky…….I thought that I was either doing well or Milky
wasn’t. Tailed him for over a lap till he outbraked the two in front of him
into Tarzan 1, I wouldn’t have been able to hold that tight a line and
couldn’t get passed them and by the flag I was 24th….I was
quicker again in this one, and according to Ann had a best lap of
1’30.0…..must have been the lap I caught up with Milky, only trouble was
everyone else were getting quicker too…..was quite pleased to find that
Juan’s fastest lap of the day was 1’28.6….and he finished 9th….after
actually leading the race….. so there was only 1.4 seconds between our fastest
laps….which is the only thing I had to smile about. Nige finished 7th,
Stevie 12th, Milky 22nd, Rob 27th, Mik 29th,
H 32nd and Gillie 33rd. It would have been nice to have
been on the first few rows of the grid to see how much difference it would have
made….I’ve noticed this season that I’m not that good at leading, I prefer
someone to chase, so if I was nearer the front I might have been towed along for
a while……maybe next year. Didn’t bother with the last
Stocksport race….neither did the rest of us, so packed up the van just in time
for a downpour, went to the clubhouse for the presentation. Ireland
won with 400 points, Wales were 2nd with 253, Scotland 207 and
the IOM with 200, Scotland were excluded because half their team were Irish, so
we were promoted to 3rd and got a nice little silver trophy
each………it would have been interesting to see if we would have got 2nd
place with a full team, there was no way anyone was going to catch the Irish. Anyway was one of the first off
to get back to the B&B……another 60 miles and 1½ hours later we arrived
as did everyone else, until I got a phone call from Juan saying that his
landlady had got a message that one of our teams vehicles had been involved in a
road accident……Checked with everyone to see if they had arrived, everyone
was accounted for except Terry, Monica, Gav and John who were all travelling in
Terry's car. Another phone call confirmed that they were in collision with a
Taxi at an unlit crossroads…..an accident blackspot apparently……Terry
broke his sternum and three ribs and was detained in Naas hospital, Monica
suffered from whiplash and was later released, and Gav and John escaped with just bruises…..The other driver was in a more serious
condition, his car flipped over and somersaulted up the road and he was thrown
out. This was a shite end to a shite day. Had to get up really early
again to catch the boat back to Holyhead and left in plenty of
time………didn’t expect to run into the worst traffic I’ve ever
experienced, and to top it all got lost trying to avoid Dublin City centre….made
it to the boat ……just… That was not the end of
it…….arrived in Liverpool to be informed that the Seacat was cancelled and
we would have to go up to Heysham to catch the Ben-My-Chree, then they informed
us that they had cancelled that as well…Jesus…so we all had to book in a
hotel for the night……. Next morning arrived at the
port to be told that the Seacat had been cancelled again and we had to wait to
see if the Ben sailed from Douglas to see if it was worth while going to
Heysham…..I was nearly panicking cos I was down to my last set of clean undies!……….anyway
it turned out that it had sailed so off our convoy trotted up to Heysham, the
boat was packed and it was a rough crossing, I was not alone in being glad to be
back on the Island and to be rid of that shitty weekend. Clocked up 712 miles in the old
van this weekend, would have been less than a hundred had we stayed nearer the
track and the bloody Steampacket Co sailed direct to Dublin………..but that
would have been far too easy. Got the bike in the garage,
stripped, ready for a lot of fettling……it’ll look like new when it comes
back out……..anybody that knows me will know that I’m not
bullshitting……Don’t think I’m going to bother with the last round of the
ACU Star Championship at Donington in November……will have to keep my fingers
crossed that Kevin Atkins (who’s 3rd) has a bad weekend so that I
can keep my 2nd place in the championship……..I’ve got 28 points
on him so if he does better than two fourths, I’ll be relegated to 3rd………… So tune in next time for another exciting, eventful, stressful, episode of………….Tommy Clucas Racing.
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Copyright © 2000, 2001 Tommy Clucas Racing.
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